Overcoming Self-Doubt

I've been struggling with a lot of self-doubt lately. I'm working thru it but overcoming it is definitely not an overnight sensation. However, while overcoming self-doubt won't happen immediately, finding some peace can happen relatively quickly.

I have found that the struggle mostly comes from the stories we tell ourselves. These stories tend to run on repeat, but we are not aware of it until we intentionally stop and pay attention.

So to give you a quick backstory, I recently became licensed to sell life and health insurance. I have no background in the industry - at least not the sales part of it, but I decided that I wanted to add it as another source of income.

Needless to say, there is a lot of learning to be had. And while I love to learn, I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself to learn and apply concepts quickly without making mistakes. That is an outrageous expectation!

I am still learning and I am still making mistakes but I am not placing such a huge expectation on myself at this point because I had to take a step back and follow some of the steps necessary to overcome self-doubt.

I will cover some of those steps, but first let's examine what self-doubt is and how it can affect your life.

The dictionary defines self-doubt as, "the lack of confidence in oneself and one’s abilities." This definition is a good starting place, but it doesn’t fully demonstrate the problems caused by self-doubt. This is the case because everyone has different issues, different reasons for their self-doubt, and different problems in their life. You’re a unique person and there is no one-size-fits-all answer.

There are many problems that can come from hanging on to self-doubt. If you suffer from self-doubt, it’s important to understand the type of damage you could experience if you continue to hang on to it. It has affected your past, is affecting your present and can devastate your future if you don’t deal with it. Here's why.

• Self-Doubt Damages Motivation – When you don’t think you can do much, and don’t trust yourself to do something right, fear can get in the way of doing anything. This can turn into a severe lack of motivation to do anything. It can affect your entire life because it may manifest into fewer satisfying relationships, staying in a job you hate, and not much enjoyment in life overall.

 

• Self-Doubt Causes Procrastination – If you don’t think you know how to do things "right" then you may end up thinking you’re a perfectionist, which is just a way to procrastinate and never finish anything or finish it at the last minute. This is how you set yourself up for loss because no one is perfect, and perfection is not necessary to thrive in this life.

 

• Self-Doubt Leads to Regret – When you miss opportunities, you will experience regret. Regret, when left unresolved, can lead to chronic stress, anxiety and depression. This will then build upon itself to create even more self-doubt, which will create more regret, and the cycle repeats.

 

• Self-Doubt Causes Defeatism – If you allow self-doubt to continue, you can start to become almost morbid in your belief that you cannot experience anything good or happy. It’s essentially an acceptance of failure.

 

• Self-Doubt Stunts Self-Improvement – When you have no faith in yourself, it’s hard to even think about self-improvement. You think you have too much to improve because you can’t do anything, and maybe you even think you’re a victim of your circumstances to a point that you cannot achieve even if you try.

 

• Self-Doubt Stifles Inspiration – When you don’t believe in yourself, it’s hard to get inspired to do anything new or to create anything new. Ending the self-doubt will bring out the creativity you really have.

 
As you can see and may have experienced yourself, self-doubt can be dangerous and these are all good reasons on their own to work toward overcoming self-doubt and learning to believe in yourself.

Strategies for Dealing with Self-Doubt
 
Now, let’s go over some important ways to deal with self-doubt when it happens. Be assured that even the most successful person works to overcome self-doubt at times. Feeling self-doubt is not the problem. Letting self-doubt control you, make your decisions for you, and rule your life is the problem.

• You’re Not Alone – Everyone experiences self-doubt and whether you have friends or family to talk to about this, you are not alone in your feelings. It’s all how you react to it that matters. You can find others to commiserate with by joining Facebook groups or other types of groups and/or hiring a life coach to help you feel less alone with your issues.

 

• Don’t Compare Yourself to Others – The worst thing you can do is to make comparisons of your life to someone else’s. This only breeds more self-doubt and even jealousy. The truth is, you have no idea what other people have gone through to be where they are, or even if they’re really being honest about their situation. You only know the truth about your own situation

 

• Practice Gratitude – In every event in life, there is something to be grateful about. Even in the worst situations there can be a lesson that can help you in the next situation. People who have overcome the worst things that you can imagine, all have one thing in common: their ability to see the positives and be grateful that they made through.

 

• Set Small, Immediate Goals – Another great way to overcome issues with self-doubt is to experience success. Start setting small goals that allow you to experience immediate success. It depends on where you are in your journey, but success can be as small as getting up in the morning, to going to the store, to something more challenging like applying for new jobs. (Note that I said, "applying for new jobs", not getting one.)

 

• Learn from Mistakes – When you make a mistake, instead of beating yourself up, accept it and learn from it. Sometimes it helps to write down the experience in your journal with a focus on what you learned and how you’ll do it differently if that comes up again.

 

• It’s OK to Be Uncomfortable – One thing to realize about life is that it’s okay to be uncomfortable sometimes. You won’t grow if you don’t experience some discomfort. That doesn’t mean you have to be into mental, physical, or spiritual torture; it's just that feeling a little fearful, uncomfortable or unsure is natural. Put things into perspective so that you know you’re making good choices.

These strategies for dealing with self-doubt won't work if you don’t implement them. The issues with self-doubt are so serious that they can make you stuck in a life that you don’t want. This can lead to anxiety, depression, and that can spiral into a really bad situation.
 
If you really want to experience true joy in life, believe in yourself, and get rid of the debilitating self-doubt you are experiencing, start implementing now. Don’t delay or make excuses.