If you look for synonyms of self-deprecating, humble, and modest come up. The sad thing about that is that there is nothing healthy about being negative about yourself. It could easily come across as fishing for compliments, or that you do not think much of yourself. Neither of those is an attractive feature, nor is it helpful to your own self-esteem. Everyone has flaws, but there is no need to point them out, or dwell on them. If someone else did this to you it would be considered bullying, and so it is bullying when you do it to yourself.
There are consequences in how we present ourselves. Whether it is how you introduce yourself, or how you behave in an interview, or even on a first date. People often have a habit of indulging in a bit of self-deprecation. Whether it is due to a belief that humility is a character trait worthy of praise, or that we were raised to consider bragging as a negative.
We often take that to the extreme by putting ourselves down. The long-term effects of self-deprecation can be deeply damaging. Why? The more you put yourself the down, the more people will begin to believe you. In turn, you yourself start to believe it, too.
Consider the many ways that you put yourself down and how you can deal with them.
I’m So Fat – This is a common comment, and we all feel overweight and unattractive sometimes. The worst way to deal with that is by saying it loud. If your weight truly bothers you, think about how you can deal with it effectively. If you only say it aloud so people will rush to disagree with you – that’s not a subtle method.
I’m A Failure – We all fear falling flat on our face, but no one succeeds at everything, all the time. It’s okay to make a mistake; it’s how you respond to it that matters. Get up, dust yourself off, and go back at it again. Look at all of the things that you have achieved.
I Don’t Look Like A Model – Guess what? Only models look like models, and that means that 99% of the population is on par with you. There’s nothing wrong with how you look- it factors into you who are as a unique human.
I’m An Idiot – Just because you make a mistake or do something dumb, doesn’t mean you are dumb. Name-calling only makes you feel worse. It’s time that you cut yourself some slack.
No One Loves Me – You have friends and family who love you, even if you haven’t been lucky in the wide world of dating. It won’t always be that way. The best way to meet the right person is by first taking time to love yourself. It makes you more attractive to others, and you can’t make someone else happy if you can’t be happy with yourself.
We often see self-deprecation as a way to discover the layers beneath someone’s outer shell. This is just an illusion though, and it may be rooted in fairy tales. Consider Cinderella, dressed in rags and the prince still manages to see through all that, to her inner beauty, this has become a powerful message that has long resonated with many. The obvious point here though, is that the prince’s eye was caught when Cinderella was covered with magic, dressed in a ball gown, and finished with glass slippers.
This does not mean that you need to go around bragging about your achievements, it simply means that people will see you as you present yourself. If you constantly present yourself as though you are decked in rags that is exactly how people will see you.
Most importantly to note however, is that you - all of you, will believe the things you say about yourself.
The way you look at your life is what will ultimately make you happy or unhappy. When you become consumed by negative beliefs or assumptions, you will find that you are unhappy with your life. Eventually, your perception will become your reality, so changing your mindset can make a huge difference in your life. A negative mindset tends to cloud your judgment, making it hard to tell if the negative thoughts you are experiencing are outside yourself or inside your psyche. Here are four signs that it's time to change your mindset and improve your life.
You Constantly Focus on Everything That’s Wrong
If you are always focusing your attention on the disappointments and worries in your life, this is a sure indication that your mindset is tainted with negativity. To begin to change this mindset, take some time to think about those things in your life that you are thankful for because it will help keep the negative thoughts from completely overwhelming your perspective.
You Won’t Face the Truth
Complaining about reality won't change it. Relentlessly complaining, is ultimately your refusal to acknowledge and accept the truth. There are things in your life that you just can't change, and refusing to see the world as it is, results in you no longer being able to tell fact from fiction. Take action and change those things that you can and accept those that you can’t.
You Become Angry When Your Expectations Aren’t Met
Your expectations are a large part of your mindset. They are what you believe to be necessary and possible. If you are always angry that the people in your life, or even you yourself, are not meeting expectations, it means that your expectations were probably unrealistic to begin with. Our expectations are what lay the groundwork for our experiences, and if we have unrealistic expectations, we will never be satisfied with our life.
You See Yourself as a Victim
Continually seeing yourself as a victim, hinders your ability to change things and build a better life for yourself. This victim mentality is generally a by-product of low self-esteem. The only way to change this mindset is by deciding to reject the victim role and start creating something better for yourself.
Changing your mindset isn’t easy, but it is one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself. Learn how to recognize a negative mindset and become empowered to make the changes necessary to become more positive about your life.
We’ve all suffered through days of headache, fatigue and irritability after a bad night’s sleep for whatever reason. Sure, you can make up for it with a power nap or by sleeping it off the following night. But when insufficient sleep becomes the norm and you’re not getting anywhere from 7 - 9 hours of quality sleep each night, then problems start developing.
Physical, emotional and mental long-term, chronic illnesses start to take hold because of your unhealthy sleeping patterns. One of the most surprising diseases linked to insufficient sleep is obesity. Research has shown that those who habitually sleep 6 hours or less have, on average, a higher BMI (body mass index) than those who get sufficient sleep. It’s also connected with lack of exercise – because you’re too tired to move - and overeating.
The science behind this is that during sleep, our bodies secrete a number of hormones associated with appetite control, metabolism and glucose conversion. When our bodies don’t get enough sleep, an imbalance of these hormones - and others - occurs.
Two hormones crucial for suppressing and stimulating appetite, leptin and ghrelin respectively, are released either not enough or too much which may be the reason behind those cravings for sweet, sugary snacks to satisfy the need for a quick energy boost.
But the reality is, these types of snacks only give you a boost for several minutes, then quickly crash your blood sugar levels and you’re left even more deflated and fatigued than before.
Another example of a hormone directly affected by insufficient sleep is insulin which is the hormone responsible for the way glucose is transformed into energy, and weight gain. When insulin levels are not controlled as they should be, our bodies process glucose more slowly, resulting in a higher risk of type-2 diabetes.
Cortisol (the stress hormone) is also another hormone that is released in excess when you suffer from poor sleep. This results in mood swings and anxiety. High levels of stress also result in elevated blood pressure and cholesterol levels, as well as an increased risk of inflammation.
This directly affects your immune system, leaving you susceptible to all kinds of illnesses, from the typical cold or flu to microbial infections to chronic diseases, such as cardiovascular diseases and strokes.
Moreover, mental disorders are brought on by poor sleep. Depression, anxiety, cognitive decline, such as memory loss and dementia, are all symptoms of insufficient sleep. Studies have shown that those who get less than 6 hours of sleep reported less sociability and confidence, and increased levels of anger, hopelessness and despair. It’s also been reported to have a negative effect on judgment and alertness.
While most of these symptoms can be eliminated once sleep patterns return to normal, the problem is in the fact that most people suffering from poor sleep fail to report it to their doctors which makes it go unnoticed and untreated for longer.
The good news is you can turn things around for the better even if you’ve suffered from poor sleep for years. Make a point of creating a peaceful, sleep-inducing environment at least half an hour before going to bed and make it a nightly habit.
Soon enough, you’ll start going to bed when you’re tired and you’ll be able to wake up fresh and relaxed without the need of an incessant alarm clock going off for an hour before you’re finally able to get up. While it may take you several weeks, it’ll be worth it once you start feeling the positive effects a good night’s sleep can have on your health.