Life Does Not Just Happen: You Choose

 
Sometimes your life can feel incredibly chaotic and busy. You may find yourself buried under tons of responsibilities and obligations, such as a hectic work schedule, a crammed social calendar, a big list of chores to complete at home, and a variety of requests from your family.
 
When your life begins to feel this way, it can feel like your life is merely “happening” without much input from you. In this sense, it feels like your life is happening to you rather than you actually living and enjoying it.
 
If your life is feeling this way, it’s important to remember the power behind your ability to choose. Ultimately, you can make choices regarding what’s happening in your life and learning to take back that power is an essential part of finding contentment.
 
What happens when you relinquish your power to make your own life choices?
 
If you’re suffering from life “happening” to you, you know that a myriad of negative consequences occur:

1. Everything feels chaotic all the time.

 
When you aren’t making your own choices and calling the shots on your life, everything feels constantly chaotic. It almost feels like you can’t get a break. As soon as you get one event under control, a new issue seems to immediately arise.

1. You feel more stressed out and anxious.

 
A lack of control leads to extra stress and anxiety. When you aren’t making your own choices, you put yourself in a position to experience way more stress and anxiety than usual.

1. You lose your sense of self.

 
Making choices is an important part of expressing yourself. When you aren’t making your own choices, you may begin to lose a sense of who you really are. By not making choices that express your best interests or needs, you begin to lose touch with who you are.

1. You begin to lack self-confidence.

 
Making your own choices requires self-assertion. You make those choices based on your knowledge of yourself and your needs. When you stop making those choices, you may begin to feel your confidence wavering. You may even begin to wonder if you truly know what’s best for yourself.
 
If you’re struggling to make good life choices for yourself, what can you do to improve them?
 
Learning to make good choices is a life skill. Like any other skill, you can certainly practice it to develop it further. To begin building this skill, consider the following strategies:

1. Make yourself a priority in your own life.

 
Yes, you will always have obligations and responsibilities to honor, but making yourself a priority is important. When you aren’t making choices based on your own needs and wellbeing, you’ll begin to feel burned out quickly.

1. Whenever possible, avoid having to make a snap decision.

 
Quickly made decisions aren’t always avoidable, but when you do have a chance to think through a choice carefully before making it, take the opportunity to do so. Allow yourself to really think through your options and make a choice that honors yourself and your needs.

1. Give yourself a little grace for any previous bad choices you’ve made.

 
Everyone makes a regretful choice at some point or another. Human beings make mistakes – it’s a natural and normal part of life, even if it is unpleasant. If you find yourself fretting over your past mistakes, give yourself permission to let them go. You’re a human being like everyone else; holding on to those previous bad choices can damage your confidence in yourself to make better ones in the future.