We live in a modern world where the world pretty much slices and dices us. Just take a look at how marketing and political persuasion are done.
If you're trying to get some sort of political message across, you dig into the demographic of the audience you're trying to reach: their age range, gender distribution, occupation, and average level of education attainment. These are the types of questions that separate people and put them in a grid. Once you have a clear idea of this grid, you position to address these people on an emotional, personal and financial level.
This makes a lot of sense. Different people with similar intersections of demographic traits do tend to share some similarities regarding political views and social, economic, and political concerns. How can they not? They see certain aspects of reality together. This can lead to the same conclusions. Again, I speak in general terms here. While there are always exceptions to the rule, this is how things normally pan out. People are, by and large, creatures of their experiences. You can never discount the impact of environment on people. While this does not necessarily mean they are totally blank slates, what one experiences through life can and does have a big impact on how that person sees the world and how that person thinks things should be done.
The same applies to marketing. Believe it or not, when you log in to Facebook, it spies on you not only by paying attention to the stuff that you like and the topics that you comment on, but also based on your ad clicks. They then start showing you ads based on its best guess of what you are interested in. This is only possible through a series of highly complicated calculations to show and to get the right ads to the right people.
This is just a symptom of the fact that modern human existence, at least in the western world, is fragmented. It's rare for people to talk about other people as complete individuals. They either referred to a larger group that you're a part of, or based on what you can contribute in terms of one key aspect of your life: your ability to make money, to give of your time, or your talent.
Whatever the case maybe, people don't really consider each other a complete, self-sustaining, integral and comprehensive self-enclosed being. There's a reason why anti-hypertensive, anti-anxiety, and anti-depressant medications are always on the top five of legal prescription drugs year after year in the West. At some level, we are sick, as a society.
This is what wellness and wholeness tries to address. A holistic approach to wellness that addresses the whole person. Human beings are unbelievably complex, it goes a long way to truly address the human condition. Isn't it time we start addressing our wellness issues from this perspective?
We have to stop looking at ourselves as some flat, monolithic, one-dimensional cartoon. Unfortunately, that's how the medical industrial complex views human beings. You only need to look at drug addiction rates, divorce, suicide and other indices of personal and social dysfunction to see that there is something fundamentally wrong. Wholeness gets to the heart of this. We need it collectively and you need it individually.
Stay tuned as I continue to address our Wholeness over the new few weeks. We are not fragmented pieces with symptoms that need to be treated. We need to view others and ourselves as Whole Beings.
Until next week, be healthy and happy. Take care.
Welcome to the HoH Blog Cast. Today I’m doing something new. I am adding an audio blog post in addition to the written blog.
At www.hallsofhealing.com, I write and post a written blog article for you each week. But I know from my own experience, that life gets busy and reading articles and/or watching videos are always convenient. So with that in mind, I will be making available an audio blog as well as the written blog for you here at www.hallsofhealing. I hope you enjoy.
What is the number one sin that you could commit that will torpedo your relationships? What kind of action is guaranteed to throw your relationship with other people for a loop? This applies to all types of relationships. It may be a business relationship, an intimate relationship, or your relationship with your family members and close friends. It is guaranteed to cripple your relationship if you do this one thing.
What is this practice that corrodes your ability to connect with people in a deep and meaningful way? You might not think much of it because it seems basic and simple and a lot of people are too quick to dismiss it. A lot of people aren’t even aware that they are doing this.
Just like with anything else in life, big disasters usually do not happen overnight. Have you ever read about buildings collapsing or bridges giving way? If you read the literature or police reports or news reports on those disasters, there is a common thread. Usually, the signs are already there but people are just too busy to care. They knew that something was off because there were small cracks noticeable or there was some indication that the angle of the bridge is not right. Unfortunately, people sit up and pay attention when it's already too late.
With that as a background, the number one practice that is guaranteed to cripple your relationship is the unwillingness to listen. I know, it may seem like a small thing. It might even seem like it is obvious but so many people drop the ball when it comes to this key relationship ability.
Are you really listening?
Do you really listen to people? Be honest. When you talk to somebody, they usually interrupt. Or vice versa. They butt in to make a point, make a correction or just to add their point of view. They never really absorb what is being said. They never take the opportunity to learn. Instead of talking and listening, we engage in some sort of verbal ping pong.
Learning to listen can be like metal sharpening metal. It may be uncomfortable at first but that's how we grow as people, it helps us grow mentally and it strengthens our cognitive abilities. The problem is we often go through the motions, and we don't really value the conversation for what it is.
When you really listen to somebody, you must assume that they can teach you something. That's the core assumption that you have to go back to and make the centerpiece of your conversation. Otherwise, it's going to be difficult for you to give the kind of respect and importance it needs. You need to remember that, because if you don't assume that you will learn anything from people, it would be very hard for you to listen.
Be honest with yourself. Ask and go back to my central question. Do you really listen? The moment you start rediscovering the art of listening, is the moment you truly reconnect with people.
I challenge you to challenge your listening abilities. Practice listening without interruption. Without thinking about how you will respond or how you may agree or disagree with what is being said. Just listen.
Thank you for listening and/or reading my blog. Please feel free to write in the comments any thoughts you may have about this week’s blog. I would love to hear what you liked or disliked as well as requests or suggestions for future blog posts.
Until next week, be healthy and happy. Take care.