You may have heard the saying, “‘No.’ is a complete sentence.” If not, it’s definitely something you should keep in mind for your daily life. While you don’t necessarily want to say no all the time, it’s important to know that you CAN when you need to.
It can be easy to fall into the trap of “people pleasing” your way through life, and never setting healthy boundaries for yourself. This is an understandable struggle—you want to make the people around you happy and not let them down! However, you must consider your own life and feelings sometimes. Taking stock of your mental, emotional, and physical health is part of how you can decide when it’s okay to say no. Here are a few questions you can ask yourself to help you know when you need to take a step back from being everything to everyone:
What else is on my plate?
If you simply have too much to do, and you’re overwhelmed… Say no.
Do I WANT to do this?
It’s important to realize that you don’t have to have an elaborate reason to say no. Not wanting to is enough.
Am I in the right mindset for this?
Sometimes what is happening in our own life can make certain things just too much to do… For example, planning a birthday party might not be a great project to take on right after a death in the family.
Does this person consistently take advantage of me?
It’s an unfortunate fact that there are lots of people that seek out people to manipulate and take advantage of. You can find these people everywhere, so always stay vigilant, and make sure they aren’t doing it to you. TRUE friends and HEALTHY family will have relationships with you that are built on give AND take.
Have I had any “me time” lately?
Self-care is vital to a happy and healthy life. If you’re constantly going and going and doing things for everyone else—you’re neglecting yourself. When this happens, burnout, stress, anxiety, and more can creep in and create lots of other issues in your life. Take and make time to take care of YOU.
I hope this has helped you to take a look at your habits of how much you say no to people when you should. It’s okay to stand up for yourself and say no when something just isn’t a good fit for you at the time.
Your mindset can truly make or break you. This is why it is so important to be aware of, and to always be working towards building a healthy thought process. More than ever, people are realizing just how much mental health has an impact on their physical health. While this is a different process for each of us, there are some basic principles we can all take into consideration on our mental health journeys…
Speaking or thinking negative thoughts about yourself can lead to a warped self-esteem. When you constantly put yourself down, you destroy your own confidence and this can lead to a lot of problems that make even simple tasks seem impossible. Negative self-talk contributes to anxiety, stress, depression, and more. Instead of continuing these habits and allowing these negative thoughts to run rampant, make an effort to become more aware of when it starts to happen… Pay attention to what trigger these thoughts and feelings about yourself. Once you know your triggers, you can begin to get to the roots of WHY those things trigger you to feel negatively about yourself. This can be done alone, with family/friends, or with a professional therapist. Everyone’s needs are different, so make sure you are handling it with or without whomever you need. When you find the core problem(s), healing and resetting of mental habits can begin.
Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t—you’re right.” This is such a powerful statement that really points out how much our attitudes impact our success. If you constantly tell yourself you can’t do something for whatever reason(s), you will ultimately never do that thing. This won’t be because you were right—it’ll be because you talked yourself out of succeeding at it! However, on the other hand, when you go into something with a positive and “can-do” attitude, you WILL have much better results. Even if you fail, you will have built up your confidence so that you can try again and figure out how you CAN succeed. Belief breeds confidence, and confidence breeds determination. Believe that you can do something, and you WILL find a way to do it!
Your day-to-day life is determined by the direction of your attitude… Make a point to create a routine of positivity at the start of each day. Get yourself in the right mindset when you wake up, and this will help you set the tone for your day. Even when bad things happen—and they will—your attitude will be the deciding factor in whether or not you let those things break you down and steal precious time from your life. Think of yourself like a bottle filled with either water or soda… Do you want to explode every time you get shaken? Or would you rather maintain your state of positivity and calm even when life shakes you up?
By making the choice to design the life you really want, versus letting life just happen to you, you will experience some crucial benefits. Taking control of your life and going after the things that are really important to you can help you not only achieve your dreams but also learn new skills, find new opportunities, and let go of the fears that are holding you back. Here are the top five reasons you should start today to design the life you really want.
#1. You can learn to identify what makes you happy in life.
When you make the decision to design your life the way you want it to be, you have to understand what it is that make you truly happy. When you get in touch with your strengths, your gifts, and what brings you joy and energizes you, you can use this knowledge to put yourself on a path toward something better.
Designing your life starts with an assessment of yourself, and you’ll gain untold new knowledge about what makes you happy in life and how that is likely to change over time.
#2. You can learn to appreciate failures and mistakes as learning opportunities.
When you design your own life, you learn that all the missteps and obstacles that you face in life are not setbacks or failures. They are, instead, opportunities to learn and grow. Being happy in life and achieving your goals is a process. It doesn’t all happen at once, and you don’t know everything you need to know right now to make it all come true in the future.
You have to learn, and learning is a process of trial and error, of making and learning from mistakes. Designing your life allows you the freedom to set your sights on a goal that makes you happy and be at peace with the process of learning and evolving that must happen in order for you to achieve that dream.
#3. You can find a fulfilling career. And then find a new one.
Designing your own life means you don’t have to be stuck in your current job and that you can reach for new aspirations at any point in your existence. The design process teaches you to imagine many different futures, all of which could make you happy, and to understand that finding work that energizes you and brings you joy and passion shouldn’t be a lofty goal that is unachievable.
Designing your life means you pick the one job that fulfills you today, and when that stops being your passion, you know you have the skills and mindset to find the next great opportunity.
#4. You can learn to navigate the biggest decision points in your life with ease.
Designing your life teaches you how to assess, make evaluations, envision multiple outcomes, and select among many different choices.
These are all essential life skills when it comes to not only designing your life but also making tough decisions along the way. Once you feel confident that your design process works and is bringing you happiness, you’ll start to see many ways these skills are transferable to all the decision-making points in your life.
#5. You can imagine multiple futures for yourself, then decide which to pursue.
Design is a process that involves choices and options. When you design the life you really want, you take the time to imagine multiple futures and varied pathways.
You see that several different options could bring you joy, and you are reminded that there is not one right future or path for you. Knowing this is freeing, allowing you to change directions in the future or start again when you find your passion and joy waning.