Sometimes asking for help is the hardest thing to do.
It’s funny how often we’d rather take on the impossible and/or stressful daily schedules instead of just asking for help.
Asking for help takes vulnerability and opens you up to another person. For some of us, this may come easy. For those of you who struggle, read on for some ways to ask for help. It will ease your anxiety and stress!
Accept That You Need and Deserve Help
The first and possibly hardest step is accepting that you not only need help, but you deserve it. Maybe you used to ask for help all the time, but negative reactions made you stop. If you’re struggling though, you need to accept that you need help or things are going to get worse.
Give that younger version of yourself who hardened your heart to others a break. You have come a long way since then. You’ve learned how to do a lot on your own, so it is not unreasonable to ask others to help you now. It is often the case that those around you would rather know you need help than watch you fail.
Know What You Need
Once you accept that you need and deserve help, you need to make sure you know what you need help with. Do you need advice buying a car? Do you need a co-worker’s advice? Make sure you know exactly what it is so you can go to the right person and ask the right thing.
Often, we struggle with requests for help because we don’t know what we need. We convey some idea that we think might help, but the other person gets confused and offers favors that don’t make your life easier. All of that struggle can be avoided if you know exactly what you need from a person.
Don’t Leave People Guessing About What You Need
According to Alice Boyes of PsychologyToday.com, “When asking for help, make sure the person knows exactly what you want. For example, if you want your spouse to show you what to do, rather than just tell you, make sure you ask for that.”
This also works in the office. Your boss and coworkers may sometimes seem like they are waiting around for you to fail so they can be mad at you. The truth is they all want you to succeed because you are on their team. When you do your job better, so does everyone else.
Therefore, in relationships both personal and professional, make sure to ask for specific things when you know you need them. The clearer you are, the more likely you will receive the support you need and deserve.
When you readily help others, they will readily help you. The key is knowing when to say no. If you are already feeling overwhelmed, you may not be able to meet someone’s request. This is fine! You have to make sure that you are doing well before you can help others.
When you are doing well, however, it benefits others, the world, and even you to offer up quality assistance to your friends, family, and members of your office and community. When those around you are happy and productive, it helps you and your entire community! So, make some time to help others and you will never be wanting for assistance.
Asking for help is hard because we think it makes us weak. We’re also afraid we won’t get it. We have to push on past these fears with the firm belief that we need and deserve assistance. We must also walk the walk and help others in return.