Have you ever tuned out of a conversation because you were more involved in the discussion going on in your head? Did you find yourself getting irritated at the person droning on because it's distracting you from that argument raging within you?
You're not alone in feeling as though your inner dialogue is chaotic. Instead of constantly trying to drown things out, you find yourself turning everything down instead. All you want is to indulge those chaotic thoughts. You convince yourself that by arguing it out you'll come to a solution, instead you find yourself at an impasse.
The Inner Voice
The reality is that most people are fueled by the voice in their head. That nonstop stream of thoughts. It's worth noting that the most negative thoughts seem to come through loud and clear, while the positive ones whisper too quietly for you to make them out.
Often, that inner dialogue is humiliating, it's panic-ridden and defeatist. It wants to tear you down, drag you out, and leave you to suffer. It's tumultuous, creating chaos in your mind. That inner dialogue is driving your life and where do you think you're going if you're being driven by chaos and negativity? It's tough, but the only way to pull through it is to stay calm and override the chaos.
Where does this voice come from? It's built from birth. You absorb the tones of a teacher, the exasperated chiding from an angry parent or the put-downs of an unkind elder sibling. All of these external influences shape your inner dialogue. Unfortunately, we often absorb the negativity and allow it to take a prominent position, completely drowning out any positive voices trying to whisper in our ears. This is especially true when it's an authority figure who repeats this message and it gets lodged in your inner dialogue.
The only way to counter this chaotic inner dialogue is by changing the way you think. This is an active task that you must undertake with intention. If you set about intentionally changing how you think and speak to yourself, you will notice a change in your self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth. Your inner dialogue can build you up or it can tear you down.
Changing the Dialogue
It's a difficult thing to do, to flip the script. It's easier to fall back on the negative voice of your parent berating you for something when you were seven than it is to nurture the positive voice of that same parent praising you for something that same day. The brutish voices rise above the chaos and speak the loudest. The kind tone and words fade into the background.
Is Your Inner Dialogue Chaotic?
What causes chaotic inner dialogue? In addition to the past shaping it, it is often driven by stress. It manifests in chaotic, bullying inner dialogue. There is this sense of injustice we feel, for whatever reason, and it's difficult to overcome that when the blows keep coming.
So, how can you tell whether your inner dialogue is truly chaotic? A good test would be to look at your life. Is it chaotic? Is it making you miserable? Do you feel unhappy with your actions, thoughts, words, and choices? If so, then there's a good chance your inner dialogue is chaotic. If you shush people to retreat to the arguments in your head, if you struggle to focus on tasks because those voices are too loud… then, your inner dialogue is chaotic.
It doesn't have to be. It's possible to change your inner dialogue to a more positive tone. It takes a lot of practice and you will need to consistently correct it with positive thoughts and affirmations. You should also enlist some stress management techniques to help calm your emotions to further control your inner dialogue.